My excitement about having another baby is starting to get there. I at least don't feel as bad about not being excited since talking to some second time mom's. I'm not the only one and especially the unplanned ones seem to be the ones that take longer to come around. It's strange how when I was pregnant with Sami, I was so into it from day one. I loved everything about it, I bounded strong and quick with her. But I'm already 14 weeks along and it hasn't really even started with this one. But like most of the other moms have said, you're so busy with the first one that it's hard to actually have the time to bond with the new one.
But then yesterday I went to see my cousin's new baby boy... he was only 19 hours old when I got to old him and he was so little and so beautiful. It made something inside me snap. I'm going to be holding someone very similar in only 6 months. And looking at him brought back all the memories of when I first held Sami and all the excitement it held. And then listening to Cade talk about what he witnessed, it just stuck with me. He was saying how he's always had respect for women and the things we go through that guys take for granted, but WOW... he has a whole new respect for mothers. The amazement of how our bodies create a human being and then the strength that it takes during labor and delivery and even post-delivery just gives you a whole new respect for mothers. That just really made me think about what a gift I have been given to create life and how for the past 10 weeks, I've just taken it for granted and wished it away at times. God has entrusted me with this wonderful gift and I have to believe that he wouldn't have done it if he didn't think Jason and I were capable of taking care of it.
So today I am actually a little bit excited about having another child. Sami will get better... or worse since she's turning two in only a few more months, but it's not like I can give her back at this point, so we'll just roll with the punches.
