So I'm trying to post more, but nothing exciting really happens in my life... at least it feels that way. We are officially through the first trimester and I haven't felt nearly as good as I did when pregnant with Sami. Actually today I feel like crap. I don't want to eat and my stomach is queasy and I just want to lay down and sleep. Oh wait, that's a lot of days. I can't lay on my stomach anymore since it's starting to hurt if I do for more then a few minutes. But that doesn't stop Sami from climbing on top of me and sitting on me. How do you make them understand that they can't do that without them feeling like you don't want to be close to them? I was also thinking the other day... what happens when my lap is gone and I can't hold her close to me or carry her or hug her really tightly? I'm going to be sad about those things. But maybe by that time Sami will "get it" more and it'll be a whole new excitement.
I'm starting to accept this pregnancy more, but I still haven't really been excited about it and it scares me and I know it really freaks out Jason. I think with it not being planned and feeling like crap all the time, it's hard to be excited about. Maybe I have pre-partum depression... is that possible? If I was feeling great, then I may be able to celebrate a little. Oh well... hopefully soon. Jason was excited when he heard the heartbeat, but I think for me it's going to take feeling him move or seeing the ultrasound... the day will come and it will be fabulous.
My 30th birthday is only 2 weeks away and I am normally very excited by now and bouncing off the walls, but my thunder was stolen with being pregnant. This was supposed to be the big exciting year, but it will have to wait until next year. I am excited to spend Sunday with my mom and Nancy and get a maternity massage... I LOVE MASSAGES and I haven't had one in at least a year and my body could really use one... oh crap, I better remember to shave that day. Then the plan is that on my actual birthday, Monday, December 8th for those kepeing track, I'm taking the day off from work to spend with Jason. I think in the morning Nancy and I are going to get Jamba Juice and then Jason and I are going to see a movie... something we used to do all the time, but haven't been able to for quite a while. Then for dinner, we're going to Pablo's with my family and some friends. Pretty boring 30th birthdya, but it includes all my favorite things so I guess it could be a lot worse.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I hate working
Sami was so cute this morning. She came walking out of her room this morning rubbing her eyes and in a half daze. She walked into the dining room and looked out the sliding glass door and then turned to me with a smile in her eyes and proclaimed "SO" as she was pointing outside. She was so excited to see snow on the ground, she had to have said it about 4 times.
After feeding her and changing her it was time to leave for Rachel's, but she was not interested in leaving. So me being the smarterer one said "Hey Sami, I'm going outside to play in the snow, see ya later". I opened the front door and looked at her now at the top of the steps and said "Here I come snow, let's play". She just about fell trying to hurry down the steps. I got her coat on her and she hurried out the garage and onto the driveway where there was still some remnants of snow left. She just stood there smiling and pointing and again saying "SO". It was so cute. Something so simple as snow brought such excitement to her and not to mention something I hate every aspect of except for the way it looks... it really can be beautiful.
Then after a few hours at work and complete boredom I was on Facebook and noticed that Rachel made a comment about dressing Anna to go outside so we were exchanging messages and I found out the kids were outside playing in the snow for almost 2 hours. It just about broke my heart at the thought of missing out on such an exciting thing for Sami. The picture in my head was her with a smile on her face ear to ear and just complete amazement at running around in it and I couldn't be there because I have to go to work. It's days like today that make me wish I could be a stay at home mom.
After feeding her and changing her it was time to leave for Rachel's, but she was not interested in leaving. So me being the smarterer one said "Hey Sami, I'm going outside to play in the snow, see ya later". I opened the front door and looked at her now at the top of the steps and said "Here I come snow, let's play". She just about fell trying to hurry down the steps. I got her coat on her and she hurried out the garage and onto the driveway where there was still some remnants of snow left. She just stood there smiling and pointing and again saying "SO". It was so cute. Something so simple as snow brought such excitement to her and not to mention something I hate every aspect of except for the way it looks... it really can be beautiful.
Then after a few hours at work and complete boredom I was on Facebook and noticed that Rachel made a comment about dressing Anna to go outside so we were exchanging messages and I found out the kids were outside playing in the snow for almost 2 hours. It just about broke my heart at the thought of missing out on such an exciting thing for Sami. The picture in my head was her with a smile on her face ear to ear and just complete amazement at running around in it and I couldn't be there because I have to go to work. It's days like today that make me wish I could be a stay at home mom.
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